Most business owners are stuck explaining their process instead of selling transformation. That is exactly why their messaging falls flat.
This Hot Seat coaching session breaks down how to shift from vague, overcomplicated language into messaging that actually connects and converts.
From defining the real problem to building a clear elevator pitch, this episode shows what it takes to stand out in a crowded space and attract the right clients.
What You’ll Learn:
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The mistake that makes your messaging instantly forgettable
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How to define your ideal client in a way that resonates
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Why transformation always sells over information
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Resources:
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Midlife Business Academy: Coaching Hot Seat
Introduction
00:00:59 | Lori
Hi there and welcome to the Midlife Business Academy. I’m so excited you’re here and I’m so excited to introduce my person in the Hot Seat coaching client chair today, it is my good friend and client, Diana Devi, of An Ageless Life. So welcome to the Hot Seat.
00:01:21 | Diana
Thank you so much. And I’m really excited to be here for two reasons. One is because it’s you and the other because of the good stuff we’re going to get done today.
00:01:30 | Lori
Absolutely. Absolutely. And because of full transparency, not only is Diana a very valuable client, we’re also very good friends. So if we get a little giggly, I kind of apologize in advance a little bit because that sometimes happens with good friends. But I love what Diana does and I wanted to come on because we talk about a lot of things because we do coaching sessions for each other and we talk about a lot of things on there. So we thought we’d take this time to do a live coaching example with something we’ve been wanting to talk about with her business.
Vision for the Future
00:02:05 | Lori
So first of all, you’ve got some things happening in your life. So tell us where you want to be in six months with your business.
00:02:13 | Diana
In six months, I would like to be fully transitioned into doing this and serving the people that I really are really my ideal clients, and when I say that, it sounds kind of jargony, but really… the people that I can help the most, those are the ones that I want to gravitate toward me.
Defining the Ideal Client
00:02:35 | Lori
Okay, so you led me right into the next question. Tell us who you serve. Tell us your ideal client.
00:02:43 | Diana
My ideal client is a woman who’s an entrepreneur, and she is in midlife and is finding that her life isn’t exactly what she thought it was going to be. It’s not as rewarding or fulfilling, and she’s not sure why. And she’s starting to notice that she’s looking like her mother, and maybe she’s not ready for that.
00:03:09 | Lori
There you go.
Chapter 1: The Visceral Identity of Midlife
Lori: So Diana, would you say that that’s a good place to start if you start with the physicality and oh my gosh, who am I becoming kind of thing?
Diana: Oh, absolutely. It’s a very visceral response. And how many of us? Even when you’re washing your face or whatever, you kind of go forward, you kind of go like this, or you’re like, what is, what’s going on?
Lori: Yeah. And for those of you on the podcast, she’s like looking at her eyes and, you know, the bags, although she had no bags.
Diana: Touching under my chin.
Lori: Under my chin. Yes. The things that we see that are the most visible, but there’s also the mental underlying that. So if you’re looking at that and talking from a message standpoint, How would you turn the problem that you see that a lot of midlife women have? What would be your message to them? Let’s work on that because I know that’s where you struggle with. So let’s start defining, first of all, who it is. I like what you said as far as you want to get on the floor and play with your grandkids. You want to be able to travel because that’s the end result benefit of what That’s the rise of the transformation. So what is the steps to get them there? And I’m not talking about sleep, movement, and food. I’m talking about from a mental, as you said, visceral standpoint.
Chapter 2: Beyond the “Laundry List” of Change
Diana: Let’s look at that. Well, I think there has to be, number one, an understanding that you can do something. In other words, you are not a victim. There are things that you can do in order to improve the situation or at least restore some of what it is that you want. So that’s number one. Number 2 is taking the next step by doing something. And a lot of the times what I see is people think, I’m going to have to radically change my life. I’m going to have to get up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go work out at a gym and completely redo my diet and, you know, turn off all my stuff and make sure I do this and that. And so by the time they even read the laundry list of what it is that they need to do, they’re exhausted, you know? So no, we need to do it in short increments that are accessible, that people can use.
Lori: You’re getting into the features of you’re getting into the nitty gritty. I want us to go underneath that. I want us to go into that visceral identity of who it is that you work with in the problem that you solve with them, because it’s the identity that they’re going to see themselves and they’re going to go, oh, she gets me. Not I hate to get I don’t want to have to get up at six o’clock in the morning.
Diana: Gotcha.
Lori: I want to see what that overarching is. So let’s talk about that. When you say, when you talk with women about looking in the mirror and seeing their mother, let’s talk, let’s expand on that because I think that’s a good story. I think most women will understand what that means. So expand on that just a little bit as far as what are the feelings that it brings up.
Chapter 3: The Sense of Loss and The Invisible Woman
Diana: So the feeling that I brought up was, how did I get to be to this point and not notice it? When did this happen? Because it seems like yesterday, this was not the case. Today, this is where we are. What happened? And then the sense of loss. It’s like, you know, my waist is 2 to 3 inches larger than it was before. And What happened with that? And why is it that everything seems to be going south in my body? Really, those kinds of emotions and feeling a sense of loss, but also a sense of not knowing what to do about it, not knowing where to start. And is it even worth the effort?
Lori: Oh, those are good. That’s good words because that will resonate because I have to do this again. Does this ever, never, ever stop? Am I gonna be having to worry about this when I’m 85?
Diana: Exactly.
Lori: Yeah. If you’re 85 feeling like you’re 75, yeah. It’s like, yay. Yeah. So, all right, so let’s, you’ve gotten some good language in there and part of your story is looking in the mirror and seeing your mother. So that’s very relatable for you, for your message. You also, because I know you, I also know the story of what your doctor said to you.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: So tell us that, and we’re going to incorporate that a little bit into your message.
Diana: So as a pharmacist and in healthcare, and I’m in a non-traditional pharmacist role anyway, what we do when something is wrong, and I was tired, I was having issues finding my words, I couldn’t spell at all anymore, and my calculator brain was not functioning. And I didn’t feel good. hired all the time. So I go to my physician, she runs Benser tests, she has me come in the office, I sit down, she puts her hand on my knee and says, there’s nothing wrong with you. You know, this is a normal part of life. And you need to stop trying to be young. And that was just like, and it was devastating. Because basically, if It was to the point where this is all in your head. It’s like, no, it’s not.
Chapter 4: Refining the “Elevator Pitch”
Lori: So if you take that language and you say getting, and you look at it from a point of getting older is not in your head. Getting older is a matter of how you, how you look at yourself or how, how you self-talk. Let’s say, let’s play with this a little bit. Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen and seen your mother? Now, for most of us, that’s not something we wanna do. Some of us it might be, but for most of us, that’s not who we want to see looking back. And we wonder how we got there. We wonder why we’re feeling invisible. We wonder why we are not, we are not feeling the best that we’ve, we, why we’re feeling old.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: And at one point I had a doctor tell me to quit trying. You’re just getting older and live with it. Is this you? I work with women to help them overcome the, I work with women to help them feel more visible, more accepting of their age. and making them be the best that they can be, which is that old trite, what was it? What was it, a shampoo commercial? I don’t remember what it was. I don’t know. It’s very true for what you’re trying to do. Be the best that you can be, because that can happen for us at any age. So let’s play along with that type of messaging. It’s a positive, uplifting, but at the same time, you’re pointing out what women are feeling. And I think you said you had somebody, you know, at one point you were talking about being sexy and confident. Right. And you had a client say, I don’t care about being sexy anymore.
Diana: Exactly. It’s just like, I’m done with that. I’m too old for that. And I’m like, whoa, okay.
Lori: Yeah.
Diana: But it was a real, it wasn’t put on. It was basically the way that she felt.
Lori: Yeah. And, and we’re not talking about sex, we’re talking about feeling sexy because Exactly. Two different things. You know, it’s how we feel about ourselves. So let’s play with that messaging some more. So if you, and, and you know, I don’t like the word I help because that’s what she went to an assistant mode, not a, an expert mode.
Diana: Collaborative.
Lori: Yes. So be the expert. Let’s walk through because I want to work with you on your this. We’re working on your elevator pitch in case you haven’t missed. Because I know you struggle with that sometimes. So let’s walk through that, who you work with and the problem that you solve or the problem that you help them solve.
Diana: So it would it would be I work with midlife women who I I don’t know whether I just say it, who look in the mirror and find their mother looking back at them.
Lori: That could do.
Diana: But are not willing to give up, feeling good, being visible, and making this the best part of their life.
Lori: Yeah, and you could actually, as you were saying that, you could actually flip it just a little bit Say, I work with midlife women who feel invisible, who- Oh, that flows better. Yeah, who look in the mirror and see their mother and see someone they don’t recognize staring back at them, that are, that are tired of the everyday, that are invisible, that they don’t recognize who’s looking back at them and just don’t want to have to keep doing it over and over and over again. And enough is enough. I’m just giving up.
Diana: Right.
Lori: So those are the women that you work with. So what will be the benefit then if we, if we define it, does that define it pretty well for you?
Diana: I think so. Yeah, I think so. Um, because They are. And I had a client tell me that she was in a store and a man walked up beside her. And when she moved, he was surprised because he thought she was a mannequin.
Lori: Oh.
Diana: So it’s like invisibility is an issue. So yes, being visible and being visible on their terms.
Lori: Oh, that’s good. That’s good. All right. So you work with midlife women who feel invisible. who don’t recognize themselves in the mirror anymore, and who are frustrated because they just have to feel like, who are frustrated because they feel like they just have to do it over and over and over again, and they don’t know what to do to feel better, to feel more like themselves, more like they did when they were, you know, 10, 20 years ago, and that is possible. So taking that, taking what you said there, We want him to play with the ageless. So tired of looking, tired of being invisible, not recognizing themselves in the mirror and are trying, tired of trying to make it happen and doing the same things over and over again so that, and then you can bring your benefits in so that they have the energy to travel. They have the energy to do all the things that they have dreamed about for all of these years. That’s a right of being older. You know, we, there are things that we work our life for if we don’t feel like it. So let’s play with that a little bit too. All right.
Diana: So am I, I mean, I’m doing the, um, elevator speech, so to speak.
Lori: Yeah. Yeah. Start, let’s start, let’s start putting that together.
Diana: Right. Okay. So I work with midlife women who who look in the mirror and see something that they don’t recognize. They are tired of repeating the same thing day after day and are ready to live a life that they enjoy, that they have the energy to grow a business, to travel, or to play with their grandchildren.
Lori: Okay, that’s good. I like that. It shows it gives a before and after. This is the problem that they have. And this is what happens when you solve the problem. They have these things. And we do have this on video so I can give this to you. I’m like, I did not. Yeah, I do like that. I like that a lot. How does that feel to you?
Diana: That feels pretty good. And I especially like the component about rather than having to retrofit what they are now into their life that they was before, because it’s going to be different. And quite frankly, they don’t want that old life anymore. So this, I like this version.
Chapter 5: The Midlife Reset Methodology
Lori: Okay, good. All right, so if we take that version, now you have, I know you happen to have a program called the Midlife Reset.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: So we want to be able to say, this is part of your reset, because this is where some of your, where your redefine comes in. You can go in and three some, you know, in three easy weeks for five minutes a day, you could redefine who you are in a way that’s very simple and makes sense. So if you are looking from your elevator pitch that we just did.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: If somebody says, well, how do you do that? Let’s work on the transformational language of explaining how you do that.
Diana: Okay.
Lori: Because that would be your next step. ‘Cause you want somebody to lean in and go, Ooh, tell me more. You know? And I think that that elevator pitch that we just did will cause that to happen. So now what would you say to me if I said, Oh, okay, tell me more.
Diana: So I would say I have something that would work really well. It is a 21 day reset, and it is something that we start with small things that really help you understand the possibilities of what you can do and where you can go.
Lori: Okay. I’m going to stop you here. Okay. Because you’re getting into the feature of the program, which I kind of alluded to that before, but what is the outcome when they go through the three-week reset? What are they going to be like on the other side? What is the end game for this?
Diana: The biggest end game for them is they figure out what they need in order to feel better, have more energy, and to start taking control of their lives.
Lori: Okay. All right. So tell me more. Tell me more about, about what you do. I have a program that will show you in three simple, in three easy weeks or three, we can think of a better adjective because I don’t think it’s easy. It’s, it’s simple. It’s simple, but not easy. All right. In, in three weeks, I can show you what your life could look like by feeling better and, and I can show you what your life will look like when you feel better, when you look better. And it’s using some very simple steps that everybody can do. If that works for you, then we can always go more. But this will give you an indication of what you can be.
Diana: Right.
Lori: How does something like that sound?
Diana: That sounds good because it gives them, because the thing that I… want to make crystal clear is not over promising as to what you can do in 21 days, because that to me is a breach of trust. So really setting the expectation of this is not the end all be all, this is the foundation that we’re laying. It really is going to be built upon from there.
Lori: And it gives them a little taste of who you are and what sort of methodology that you use. to move forward and keeping it simple. So if you’re doing that, I think one of the things that we all do is when we’re saying, we’ll describe the program, we go into how many, you know, for me, it’s how many videos and how many PDFs you have. Nobody buys the PDFs. They don’t care. Who needs another PDF?
Diana: Right.
Lori: What they want to do is what is this going to, you know, what is this going to do for me? What’s in it for me? Why do I want to invest some money and my time and do this. So what’s going to be the outcome? Why do I need to do this? Because that’s where we always go back to is the why. What is the why of this? Not the specifics, but the why. So let’s talk more. So, all right, so Diana, you’ve just given, you’ve just told me what you do. So, oh, so tell me more. Tell me more about this program.
Diana: So this program is designed for you to see what the possibilities are for more energy, more opportunity, more energy to be more visible and to understand how fabulous midlife can be.
Lori: Okay.
Diana: Not quite there, huh?
Lori: You’re close. You’re really close. The program is designed to show you simply a simple way. Did we say simple? We said simple, not easy.
Diana: We said simple, not easy. Yes. We’re simple.
Lori: Yeah. Show you a simple way that in three weeks you can You can feel better and have more energy by using these very simple techniques that I teach you. If these work for you, it gives you an idea of what working with us, and we can take it further by working with me longer afterwards. But this is meant to be a little appetizer.
Diana: The taster.
Lori: It’s a taster. Yeah, it’s a taste. So, because I think that’s important too, is tell them this is a little taste.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: So how does something like that, does that sound like it’s fulfilling a promise?
Diana: Yeah, I think so. And I don’t think it is over promising. I think it is right on the mark.
Chapter 6: Screening for Ideal Clients
Lori: Okay, cool. Anything else that you feel like your ideal client or what you’ve seen in other clients that you’ve worked with? Anything else that they have brought up that you’ve said, oh, You know, I wonder if this is something we can work on or this is not who I want to work with because that’s just important too.
Diana: Yeah. So, um, I think anybody who, and I’ll go with a positive first, some of the things that I see that I haven’t really addressed in the 21 days is the whole question of why am I doing this? Or what is it that I need to do next? Because a lot of the things that I’m hearing are, I don’t like this, but I don’t know what else I want to do. And that kind of is bore out of the physical changes that happen with the invisibility and with the fact that maybe they’re just bored with what they’re doing.
Lori: Yeah.
Diana: So that’s something that is not addressed, but I think that’s not something that’s accessible, but something that I would put in a bigger program for people to talk about. The people that are not ideal candidates are people who want to continue to do the same thing but expect a change. because I’m all out of fairy dust. It’s, you know, it’s just not happening. So there has to be the willingness not only to invest financially, but also to invest in their energy or the work that they will do in order to feel better, look better, have the energy, you know, be visible and enjoy their midlife.
Lori: Right. So the bottom line is, They don’t want to become somebody that they don’t recognize. And they don’t want to become somebody that I think of slug, slug on the sofa.
Diana: Exactly. They don’t. They don’t want to bash into the beige car, the beige chair, right?
Lori: Yes, that’s a good way to put it. That’s a good way to put it. Because I think when we, I think one of our biggest fears is becoming that person we don’t recognize. You know, there’s a lot of memes going around that say, I can, you know, I can either walk this way when they’re showing women already speed walking. And then the next shot is the woman on the walker.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: That you don’t want to, you know, who you are now keeps you from becoming that person. later.
Diana: Absolutely.
Lori: So, and I think there’s a message in there for you as well.
Diana: Yeah, I haven’t really thought about that piece of it, but that’s absolutely right. The, you know, what we know is that what happens today, you’re going to see it in 10 or 20 or 30 years.
Lori: Right.
Diana: So getting it together, the sooner the better. But that’s not to say that you can’t still make progress regardless of when you start.
Lori: Absolutely. And you also had something, it may have been one of your podcast episodes that talks about how you don’t feed your body the same way now as you did when you were 20. So, and I think that is a really good statement as well, because it makes us stand back. Because your whole goal is you want them to go, huh, I hadn’t thought of that. Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve never thought of it like that.
Diana: Yeah.
Lori: So expand on that a little bit.
Diana: So another one that I say is, I eat now for strength rather than to be small. Because I want to be powerful and strong and those kinds of things rather than being small and slight and delicate and all the things that we think about when we’re thin. but really looking at changing the perspective of saying, like you mentioned, you don’t feed a 20 year old and a toddler the same. Why would you feed a 20 year old and a 50 year old the same? Body needs different things.
Chapter 7: The Final Connector and Commitment
Lori: All right. Go back to what you just said a second ago. I want to feel strong. I want to feel strong.
Diana: I want to feel visible rather than being small and basically I don’t want to say invisible, but weak, right?
Lori: Right.
Diana: Thin and you’re, you know, feather light and those kinds of things. It’s no, hell no. I want to be strong. I want to be in my body. I want to be able to do the things that I want to do. I want to be able me personally, to be able to go out and dance until two or three o’clock in the morning in my three-inch heels dancing tango.
Lori: Yes.
Diana: And if I can’t walk, I can’t do that. If I don’t have the right kind of food, I can’t do that.
Lori: Right. So when you said that, I thought, all right, there’s our connector. That’s what we were missing on your elevator. pitch is I work with women who feel invisible, who have become somebody they don’t recognize, are stuck in the rut of the sameness for every day and want to feel strong and want to be visible and want to be seen and not small so that they can. And then so that that’s that bridge language. of here’s who you are now, here’s what’s possible, and here’s the benefits of it.
Diana: Gotcha.
Lori: That’s what we were missing. So I like that. So you brought those in. So does that resonate? And is that something you would feel comfortable saying in a room, you know, in a networking event or something like that?
Diana: We’ll find out next week.
Lori: Okay. Very good. Very good. So my homework will be to give you, to get this transcript up to you. So you can start practicing. Because one thing that we’ve talked about is it’s very important for us. And I had to do this a couple of hours ago. And we usually would have a minute. All of a sudden we got 30 seconds. Like, oh, now I got to redo. But the more you can practice, get your words down. And then the more you practice it, becomes muscle memory. And then you don’t have to think about it. You don’t have that momentary sense of, going from 60 seconds to 30 seconds to, back to 60. You can say it very easily and very, very eloquently and very smoothly. Because the biggest thing is you want to make it believable. You want somebody to go in and go, chic. my gosh, she just nailed who I need to talk with her because that’s exactly who I am and exactly who I want to be. So do I have your commitment to go practice it?
Diana: Yes, ma’am.
Lori: Okay, good, good.
Diana: And it might be the dancer in me that is really good about, okay, if we’re gonna do something like this and we need to basically get your steps in for sure.
Lori: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. ‘Cause the less you have to think about it, the more comfortable you’re gonna be with it.
Diana: And the more authentic it is, right? Because it’s not like you’re making it up on the fly.
Lori: Right, right, well, you know how I feel about that word.
Diana: It’s more that it comes from the heart. How’s that?
Lori: Yes, it comes from the heart. It’s believable. And you’re comfortable saying it. That’s the biggest thing is you’re comfortable with what you do. You’re very comfortable because you’re excellent at what you do. So now the challenge is just explaining so that it’s drawn to the right women who can be your ideal client, who are ready, willing, and able. to take your program and to work with you. And ready can be time-wise, it can be they’re tired of looking in the mirror, willing means that they’re willing to do the work, they’re willing to make the change, and able means that they have the time and they can pay you. So we want all- Important factors.
Lori: Yes, yes, we want, ’cause all the three, if you’ve got two out of the three, you don’t have an ideal client, and it could be any of those two. any of those two. So we want to make sure of that. So thinking back over our conversation, what is the biggest aha that you see or that has come to you from this?
Diana: I think it’s the clarity and the clarity of the transformation rather than being bogged into more of the what is it that it is, right? The nuts and bolts kind of thing, but really focusing on the transformation because the transformation speaks much louder. And that’s been part of my struggle all along is there are thousands of people that do work in the midlife. area for women. And you can say premenopause, perimenopause, menopause, postmenopausal, midlife, some are physicians, some are not, some are health coaches, some are body workers, some are just people who they’ve experienced it. So how do I distinguish what it is? By talking about it in a way that isn’t, you need to do finger exercises every day in order to get the wrinkles out of your hand. No.
Lori: Yeah. Yes. You need to do that. But that’s not what you’re selling.
Diana: Exactly.
Lori: I’d go on YouTube and get those.
Diana: That’s exactly right. Yes. And you’re not vested. You know, the thing is, the ability to stick with it. Sometimes when you just go on YouTube and look at it, you might do it once, you might do it twice, but without the emotional or that understanding of what’s beneath it, it’s probably not going to stick.
Lori: Right. So you’re going to take their hand and you’re going to guide them through the transformation in a way that will work. Yes, in a way that will work for them, in a way that they will feel better, feel visible, feel more visible, and will recognize who they are in the mirror. So good.
Diana: Yes.
Lori: Diana, thank you. Thank you for sitting in the hot seat today. You were actually an easy one. That’s good. But I’m glad we talked because transformation is a message that I’m really working on with my clients is what is that transformational language? And you said it best when you put it into transformational language, People will pay. Women will pay for transformation.
Diana: Yep.
Lori: I’m not going to pay you for you to tell me what to eat, but I will pay you to help me transform.
Diana: Absolutely.
Lori: Yep. So thank you for being here.
Diana: Thanks for the invite.
Lori: You’re welcome. You’re welcome.
Diana: For the opportunity, I should say.
Lori: You’re welcome. So thank you for joining us on the Midlife Business Academy. We will see you next time. And remember, it’s never too late to have the business of your dreams. We’ll see you next week.