The dream wasn’t wrong. You just outgrew it.
Many business owners spend years building toward goals they no longer want, while feeling guilty for wanting something different. Lori explores why success changes over time, how invisible business rules shape our decisions, and why midlife entrepreneurs have a competitive advantage most people overlook.
This episode challenges the assumption that growth always means bigger and offers a framework for defining success on your own terms.
What You’ll Learn
-
Why changing your vision is not the same as starting over
-
How to identify the hidden rules influencing your business decisions
-
What it takes to build a business that supports the life you want now
Schedule a call to discuss personalized coaching at TalkWithLori.com
Schedule your Profitable Path Blueprint call. If you’re considering working together and want to see if it’s a fit, book a Profitable Path Blueprint Call. It’s a simple, no-pressure conversation to decide whether working together makes sense.
Resources:
Click HERE to receive your free gift – Get Clients to Say “YES!” The Ultimate Social Proof Checklist Every Business Needs to Build Trust and Boost Sales
Join Lori’s private Facebook group – The Midlife Business Academy. A Facebook group for The Typewriter Generation! A community to share business growth strategies that work for us! Join now!
Connect with Lori Follow me on social media – grab other free resources of book a call – it’s all right here!
Apply for a “Hot Seat” coaching session to work through your business challenges live:
CHAPTERS
0:00 You Don’t Owe Your Younger Self Your Future
2:55 The Dream Wasn’t Wrong — You Just Outgrew It
6:48 The Invisible Rules You Never Agreed To
9:53 The Midlife Advantage Nobody Talks About
12:22 What If You Want Less? (And Why That’s Not Settling)
15:30 What Would Your Business Look Like If Nobody Was Watching?
17:35 Your Action Step: Three Sentences That Change Everything
19:28 Wrapping Up the Series
TRANSCRIPT
0:00 You Don’t Owe Your Younger Self Your Future
You don’t owe your younger self your future, and sometimes that’s the hardest permission to give yourself.
Welcome back to the Midlife Business Academy. I’m Lori Lyons. This is part three of our series, Building the Business of Your Dreams. Again, and if you’ve been with me for the last couple of episodes, thank you. This series has been one of the most personal things I’ve put out on the podcast, and today’s episode is one I’ve been kind of building toward and thinking about and meditating on and, you know, having to take a deep breath before I started.
If you’re just joining us, I want to encourage you to go back and listen to the first couple of episodes. Start with the Karen’s hot seat coaching episode, because that’s kind of what started all this. And it’s not because you’ll be lost without them, but because the conversation we’re having today, you’ll hear it differently if you’ve been listening and following the full journey.
So here’s kind of where we’ve been. In episode one, we talked about what happens when you realize the dream has changed, not because you failed, not because something went wrong, but because you’ve changed and the business that you’ve built stop fitting the person you become. In episode two, we talked about the myth of starting over, how the skills, the experience, the hard one wisdom you’ve accumulated doesn’t disappear when the dream shifts. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting from decades of proof that you know how to do this. And today we’re talking about the part that’s really hard to prepare for giving yourself permission to want something different. Because here’s what I found with my clients and with myself. The hardest part isn’t figuring out what you want. The hardest part is believing you’re allowed to want it. And that’s what today’s about.
2:55 The Dream Wasn’t Wrong — You Just Outgrew It
I want to start here because I think it matters that we believe that the dream wasn’t wrong. Everything that we’ve built, the hustle, the years of showing up and working hard and staying late and all of the stuff, the saying yes to opportunities, taking clients when we knew we shouldn’t have, none of that was wrong. I’m the woman who’s worked since she was 16 earlier, if you count babysitting. I paid part of my way through college. I built businesses from the ground up. I’ve answered calls from vacation. And I’ve said yes when I probably should have said no. I took calls two hours after giving birth to a human with clients. So yes, I was all in. I wasn’t making a life. I was making a business. And it fit me at the time, but it doesn’t fit me today. That person was ambitious. I was determined. I was responsible. And I was doing exactly what I thought was needed to be in what was right at the time. The business got built. In fact, several businesses have been built since then. I’ve earned my reputation. The clients showed up and they trusted me with the real things that mattered. And none of that was wrong. And I wouldn’t trade any of it for the experience that I have today.
But the problem wasn’t the dream. The problem was assuming that it would never change, that I would never change. Because here’s what nobody tells you when you’re in the middle of building something. Dreams aren’t static. They’re not a destination you set at 25 and arrive at by 50. They’re living things. They grow with you. They shift as your priority shifts, as your life shifts, as you shift. And at some point for a lot of us, the dream we’ve been chasing quietly became the dream we outgrew. not dramatically and not overnight, not with any big announcement, just gradually it kind of crept up on us, almost without warning. The little things that used to drive you, eh, who cared? And that’s not failure, that’s growth. And the sooner we start treating it like a problem to be solved and start treating it like information to be honored, the sooner we can start building something that actually fits our life.
6:48 The Invisible Rules You Never Agreed To
Because there’s invisible rules that we live by. And here’s about what I want to talk about next, because I think this is what gets a lot of us stuck without even realizing it. We’re walking around with these set of rules, rules that we didn’t consciously choose, rules we absorb from that culture around us. From the industry we built our businesses in, from the masterminds we joined, from the gurus we followed, the metrics we were handed and told to care about. Rules like bigger is always better. More revenue is always the goal. A growing team means you’re successful. You should always want more. If you’re not scaling, you’re stagnating.
And I want to ask you something. Who died and left you in charge? Who decided all of this? Really? Who decides the measure of a successful business is how big it gets? Who decided that seven figures is the finish line everyone should be running toward and bragging about? Who decided that wanting a smaller, simpler, more intentional business means you’re not serious about it?
Because I sat in a mastermind for a long time with really smart people. I’ve talked about this before. And everyone was pointed the same direction. Seven figures, scale, grow, more, more, more. And I love these people. I miss these people. I respect their vision. I learn from them. I’m grateful for the time I spent in the room. But at some point it just wasn’t, I really wasn’t feeling right. And at some point I grew quiet. And I finally realized that that destination wasn’t mine anymore. I felt like a fraud in the room. And I didn’t leave because they were wrong. I left because they were right for them. And that distinction matters enormously to me. Because the moment you realize that someone else’s dream isn’t your dream, that’s not wrong. That’s actually one of the most clarifying moments you can have as a business owner. It’s the moment you start measuring yourself against a ruler that was never designed for you. The invisible rules only have power when you don’t know that they’re there. Once you see them, you can’t unsee them, but you get to decide which ones you’re keeping.
So if you’re ready for weekly conversations, actually look at what’s happening in your business, not just the pretty version of it, come join me here. Go ahead and subscribe to the channel and hit that notification button. The rebranding series might be wrapping up today, but every single week on this channel, we are stripping away the hustle nonsense culture and figuring out how to build a business that actually supports your life. Hit subscribe so you don’t miss a single one.
9:53 The Midlife Advantage Nobody Talks About
Now, to help actually put this into practice, let’s look at that incredible competitive advantage you have right now that most people are ignoring. It’s called the midlife advantage. I want to spend a few minutes on something that I think gets completely overlooked in most business conversations. Most business advice, the books, the courses, the strategies, the masterminds come from people who are in building mode. early stage, growth stage, hustle mode, and that advice has its place. But midlife entrepreneurs bring something to the table that you simply can’t manufacture. You can’t shortcut your way to it. You can’t buy it in a course or learn it in a weekend workshop. You can’t pay $19.97 for it on TikTok and get it. And it’s called perspective.
You know what success cost, not theoretically, but personally. You’ve already paid the price. You know what burnout feels like because you felt it. You know what it’s like to hit a goal and feel, eh, nothing because you’ve been there. You know what matters and what doesn’t and what you’re willing to sacrifice. And maybe more importantly, what you’re no longer willing to sacrifice. You’re not guessing anymore. You’re choosing. And there is a big difference.
In your 20s, you chase possibilities. Everything’s open, everything’s worth trying. The energy is there and the options filled. And listen, you say yes to almost anything because you don’t know yet what yes actually cost. In midlife, you start choosing priorities. You’ve done enough, built enough, sacrificed enough to know what you actually value. You have clarity that only comes from experience. You have discernment that only comes from making mistakes. You have wisdom that only comes from time. And that’s not a liability. It’s your greatest business asset.
The problem is that most of us are so busy apologizing for where we are in life. We’re too old for this, too late for that. We should have started sooner. Sound familiar? That we forget to leverage the one thing nobody else in the room has. We forget we’ve already paid for the education that everyone else is still enrolled in. We’ve done all of this before. We’re experienced.
12:22 What If You Want Less? (And Why That’s Not Settling)
So what if you want less? Okay, this is the section I really want you to hear because I think this is the conversation that most people are having privately, you know, their conversation in their heads and their journals in those quiet moments when their business is doing fine, and they’re not satisfied. But very few people are saying it out loud.
What if you don’t want a seven figure business? The earth didn’t stop. What if you don’t want a team of 20? What if you don’t want to manage employees or run group programs or build a funnel empire or show up on every platform and optimize every metric? And this is a surprise because three years ago, I remember talking to my accountability partners, like, what do you mean you don’t want to build a group program? That’s what we were expected and we thought we had to do. But what if you want fewer clients and better ones? What if you want more days off? What if you want to travel and actually be present when you do, not halfway on your phone managing something that can’t run without you or pulling out your laptop? What if you want a business that supports your life instead of consuming it?
I want to say something clearly, and I want you to actually lean in and listen. Wanting less stress doesn’t mean you’re less ambitious. Wanting more life doesn’t mean you’ve given up. Wanting something different doesn’t mean that you failed. The coaching industry and the hustle culture more broadly, that bro marketing hustle culture has done a tremendous amount of damage by conflating ambition with scale. by convincing an entire generation of entrepreneurs that wanting a simpler, more intentional business means you’re settling or you’re not successful. That’s not pushing for more. You must not want it badly enough. That’s not true.
Designing a business around the life you want is not settling. It’s arguably the most sophisticated business decision you can make. It requires more self-awareness, more intentionality and more courage than chasing someone else’s definition of success ever will. Because it’s infinitely easier to follow a prescribed path than it is to define your own. Think about it. Go through the woods. Would you rather take the trail worn or would you rather hack through the foliage yourself? Which is easier. And defining your own at this stage with everything you know is not giving up. It’s growing up. And it’s, isn’t it about time we did?
15:30 What Would Your Business Look Like If Nobody Was Watching?
So let’s talk about what comes next because I want you to try something. And again, I really want you to do it, not just listen to the question and nod along and move along. I want you to imagine for a moment that nobody’s watching, nobody’s comparing, nobody’s judging, nobody’s keeping score. The coaches you follow on Instagram or that you pay a lot of money to don’t know what you’ve decided. The mastermind you used to be in doesn’t have an opinion. Your peers aren’t measuring themselves against you in that space with none of that noise. What would your business look like? How many hours would you work? What would you stop doing completely or hire out? What would you finally start doing? The thing that’s been on the someday list for years. Who would you serve? How would you spend a Tuesday afternoon? What does success feel like in your body? Not on a spreadsheet. not on a revenue report, but actually feel like in your daily life.
That vision, the one that comes up when you take away that outside noise, that’s probably a lot closer to your real dream than what you’ve been publicly chasing. And here’s what I want you to know about that vision. It doesn’t have to be figured out all at once. It doesn’t have to be perfect before you move forward. It doesn’t require a complete overhaul of everything you’ve built overnight. It just requires a decision, a decision that this version of success, the one that fits your life, your values, your energy, your season is worth building. Not someday now.
17:35 Your Action Step: Three Sentences That Change Everything
So before we close out the series, I want to leave you with something concrete. Three sentences. I want you to finish them. Write them down. Say them out loud. Put them where you’ll actually see them.
Number one, I’m no longer available for. Now, I want you to fill that honestly in. It can be weekend work, clients who drain you, constant availability, proving yourself to people who are never your audience anyway. Whatever it is, name it. because you can’t move toward what you want until you get clear with what you’re done with.
Number two, I want more. It could be freedom, creativity, impact, joy, joy in life, joy in actual work, joy in my family, joy in just being me. Whatever your version of more looks like, write it down and don’t apologize for it.
Number three, the next version of success looks like. This is not Instagram’s version. This is not your mastermind’s version. This is not what made sense for you 10 years ago. This is your version today for the life you actually want to be living.
Those three sentences are the beginning of your blueprint. And if you want help turning that blueprint into an actual business, one that’s built around your strengths, your lifestyle, and what you really want your days to look like, that’s exactly the conversation I have with people every week. Go to talkwithlori.com and schedule a call with me. We’ll talk about where you are, what you want, and what it actually looks like to build the business of your dreams. Not the one you started with, but the one that fits you where you are right now. Talkwithlori.com. I’d love to talk with you.
19:28 Wrapping Up the Series
So we’ve covered a lot of ground this month, and I want to kind of wrap it all up. In episode one, we talked about what happens when the dream changes, how success and satisfaction are not the same thing, how the restlessness you feel isn’t in gratitude, it’s information, and how you’re allowed, fully and completely allowed, to want something different than you wanted before. In the second episode, we talked about how you’re not starting over, how the little changes, how the title changes, but the wisdom doesn’t. How every skill, every lesson, every hard one piece of experience you’ve accumulated is coming with you into whatever life you build next. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting from strength.
And today, today we talked about permission. Permission to redefine success on your own terms. Permission to want less of what was never working and more of what actually matters. Permission to walk away from the dream you outgrew without treating it like a failure.
So here’s what I want to leave you with. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to redefine success. You’re allowed to want something different than you wanted 10 years ago. You’re allowed to build the business that fits your life you want now, not the one you were supposed to want, not the life that looks impressive from the outside, but the life that actually feels like yours. Because the goal was never to build the biggest business possible. The goal was to build the right business, the one that supports the life you actually want to live. Because remember, it’s never too late to build the business of your dreams, even if you’re building that for the second time.