You followed the advice. You finished the course. You did the work.
Nothing changed.
Most coaching does not fail because the coach is bad or the client is lazy. It fails because the type of coaching does not match the actual problem.
Lori breaks down the four types of coaching: support, tactical, performance, and transformational. You will learn how to identify what you have been buying, what you actually need right now, and how to stop repeating the same expensive pattern.
If you have unfinished programs or feel stuck despite investing in growth, this episode will give you the clarity to make your next move strategically.
What You’ll Learn
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The difference between support, tactical, performance, and transformational coaching
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How to assess whether a program’s promise matches its structure
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The key questions to ask before committing to your next coaching investment
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Chapter List
00:00 – Why coaching “fails” even when you do everything right
00:58 – Lori’s coaching investment story and what was missing
05:35 – The real issue: coaching mismatches and what to ask
05:48 – Type 1: Support coaching and when it fits
07:39 – Type 2: Tactical coaching and when it fits
09:25 – Type 3: Performance coaching and when it fits
11:37 – Type 4: Transformational coaching and when it fits
15:04 – Questions to ask before you invest
17:45 – Action step: identify what you actually need now
18:55 – Hot seat sessions and closing
Video Transcript
00:00 – Why coaching “fails” even when you do everything right
Lori: Here’s what I see over and over again.
A smart, experienced business owner invests in a program. She does everything right. She shows up to every call. She completes every module. She implements the strategies. And at the end of it — she has a content calendar, a funnel outline, and a folder full of templates she’s never going to use.
And she feels vaguely cheated.
Not because the coach was a fraud. Not because the content was bad. But because what she actually needed had nothing to do with templates.
What she needed was a coach to look her in the eye and say: “The strategy isn’t the problem. The mismatch is.”
She didn’t need more how-to. She needed a different category of support entirely.
And here’s what nobody told her before she signed that contract — not all coaching is the same. If you don’t know the difference, you will keep investing in the wrong type, at the wrong time, and walking away wondering what is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. You just needed a different type of coaching than you got.
Today, we fix that.
00:58 – Lori’s coaching investment story and what was missing
Lori: Welcome back to the Midlife Business Academy. I’m Lori Lyons, and today’s episode is one that I wish had existed before I spent my first dollar on coaching. And it’s for two audiences. If you’re a business owner who has invested in coaching and felt like something was just slightly off, this will finally give you the language for what happened. And if you’re a coach, this episode will hold up a mirror to what you’re actually selling.
So let’s take a look. The number one reason coaching fails is not a lack of effort from the client. It’s a mismatch between the type of coaching being delivered and the type of problem actually needing to be solved. Nobody talks about this clearly. Today we’re going to walk through the four types of coaching, what each delivers, when it’s right, and when it’s completely wrong. By the end of this episode, you’ll know what you’ve been buying, what you actually need, and the questions to ask before you spend another dollar.
And I’m going to make this personal because I think you need to hear that this has happened to me too. A few years ago, I invested thousands of dollars in a high-ticket program with a well-known coach in the industry. You’d probably recognize the name. It was one of those programs that felt like a big deal to get into. The kind where just signing up felt like a statement about where I was headed. And I did everything right. I showed up. I completed the program. I engaged with the materials. I did all the modules. I did all the stuff. And the program itself was good. The content was solid.
But here’s what I didn’t understand when I signed up. That name coach, she wasn’t really who I was working with. Most of the access was to her team of coaches. The person I invested in, the voice, the person I trusted, the reason I said yes, I saw her once a month on a training call. And at the end of it, my business hadn’t grown at all. I joined specifically to change my business model, to make the transition from website designer to business coaching. That was the whole point, and that was what I was paying for. And I finished the program still a website designer, still stuck, still unable to take the leap I had paid someone to help me take.
And here’s what it did. It made me angry. And I was quietly defeated. And honestly, I felt like maybe there was something wrong with me. Like everyone else in the program figured it out and I was the one who couldn’t make it work. Maybe this wasn’t just for me. Maybe I’m not cut out for this kind of change. Hello, imposter syndrome, really stepping in here.
But it took me a while to realize the truth. The program wasn’t built for what I actually needed. It was a combination program. There were tactics, there was community, although it was during COVID, so we really didn’t get to meet each other until almost the end of the program. And there was coaching, yes. But what I needed most was someone to look at the belief running that whole show. The belief that said, “You can’t change your business model. That’s not who you are. That’s not who you get to be.” And no template was going to change that. No lead magnet was going to change that. No module was going to fix it. I needed someone to go underneath the strategy entirely. And that’s not what I bought. And it was because I was naive, because nobody told me that there was a difference. And so that’s why I created today’s episode.
05:35 – The real issue: coaching mismatches and what to ask
Lori: This story is yours too. Maybe not the right details, but the feeling. The feeling of doing everything right and still wondering what went wrong. And these aren’t coaching failures. They’re mismatches. And they happen because most people don’t know that there are four distinctly different types of coaching, and each is designed for a different stage, a different problem, and a different version of you. Most programs combine more than one type, and when done well, that can be very powerful. The problem isn’t the combination programs. The problem is when the promise doesn’t match what’s actually being delivered, or when what you need isn’t actually what the container is about at all. So here are the two questions as we go. What type of coaching have I been buying? And what type do I actually need right now, today?
05:48 – Type 1: Support coaching and when it fits
Lori: So let’s get into the four types of coaching. The first is the support type of coaching. Support coaching is stabilization. It’s for the person who needs steadiness before they need strategy. They need a foundation. It helps you process what’s happening. It helps you reduce overwhelm and feel less alone. And maybe you start to see that path forward. This could be life transitioning coaching. Maybe you’re recently divorced, maybe you’re burned out, maybe you need grief coaching. These are typically programs with weekly sessions, membership communities, or group containers where the primary value is being consistently heard and supported.
The words to watch out for with this type of coaching are safe space, community, sisterhood, circle, journey, healing, you’re feeling seen, you’re supported, you’re gentle, you are not alone. This is a space to process. Surround yourself with like-minded women, a place to land. If the program leads with the community as the primary offer, pause. The connection is valuable, but connection is not where a business strategy is, if that’s what you need. If you need connection, then look for those.
So when you’re in the middle of something genuinely hard and you need to stabilize before you can execute, this is the right fit for you. Don’t skip it if you need it. Trying to build strategy on a cracked foundation won’t work. When you’re stabilized and you’re ready to move on, but the coaching keeps you processing instead of progressing, that’s a wrong fit. If every session you are on feels like it’s the same conversation on repeat, you need a different type.
07:39 – Type 2: Tactical coaching and when it fits
Lori: Second type, tactical coaching. This is the coach you hire when you need to know exactly what to do. The value is pure knowledge transfer. You come in knowing, you leave knowing. Systems, frameworks, step-by-step strategies, templates, proven frameworks. You see this as course creation programs, launch coaching, marketing boot camps, content strategy intensives, done-with-you business building, cohort courses, VIP days, 90-day sprints, programs with a clear curriculum, defined outcomes.
Does all of this sound familiar? Here are the words to watch for. Blueprint, roadmap, system, proven framework, step-by-step or proven anything, formula, accelerator, bootcamp, sprint, plug and play. You’ll walk away with X. If the program leads with a deliverable, that’s tactical coaching. The promise is something you hold in your hands.
So this is a right fit for you if you’re genuinely new and you don’t have the mechanics yet, or you’re concerned about the mechanics, or you feel more comfortable in the mechanics right now. Or when you have a specific identifiable skill gap. You know what you’re doing overall, but you’ve never run a webinar, built a course, or hired a team. A tactical specialist will close that gap for you very effectively. So this is the wrong fit for you when the problem isn’t a skills gap. You know what to do. You’re just not doing it. That requires a completely different conversation.
09:25 – Type 3: Performance coaching and when it fits
Lori: Type three is performance coaching, or high-performance coaching. These are very popular right now, and it’s focused on one thing: moving the numbers. Revenue growth, faster execution, higher performance. The coach will push you, hold you accountability, and will not let you off the hook when you show up with reasons or excuses instead of results.
You see this as revenue acceleration programs, executive coaching, high-performance masterminds, sales coaching, elite group programs, high-ticket intensives, selectives. These are programs that are tied to specific numbers or measurable outcomes. The words to watch here are accountability, results, revenue, execute, momentum, elite, high performance, scale, no excuses, high achiever only, this isn’t for everyone.
And think about that last phrase. Performance coaching filters for people who are already in motion. If you’re not already moving, this environment will be brutal for you. It won’t be motivating. And if you’re a competitive person, this is right up your alley. If you perform better when there’s a scorecard or when somebody’s watching your numbers, that’s like rocket fuel to you. But if competition makes you anxious or nervous, if being compared to others shuts you down, this environment will just break you. So know yourself before you sign up.
It’s a right fit if you already know what to do and you’re just not doing it consistently or fast enough. You have a proven offer, a working business, a clear goal. And what’s missing is accountability and external pressure to execute at a higher level. When the real issue isn’t execution, it’s a wrong fit. When it’s the story underneath the execution problem, you can’t push your way through an identity ceiling.
11:37 – Type 4: Transformational coaching and when it fits
Lori: And transformational coaching is type four. But it’s not the holy grail or the obvious next step for everyone. It’s the deepest level of change available. And it’s only right when the client is genuinely ready for it, or you’re genuinely ready to teach it or coach it. This type goes underneath everything else. It doesn’t just look at the problem. It looks at what created the problem, the belief system, the pattern, the decision made somewhere along the way, a long time ago, that’s been quietly determining the upper level of what you allow yourself to build.
You see this as high-ticket one-on-one coaching, intimate masterminds, year-long containers, private mentorship. It’s a significant investment with limited spots. There’s an application process and a promise that isn’t about deliverables. It’s about who you’re going to become. So words to watch for: identity, becoming, evolution, legacy, rewrite, rewire, reconstruct. This will change everything. You’ll never go back. For the woman who knows that she’s meant for more. This isn’t a course. It’s an experience. An application required.
And pay attention to that application process. A coach doing this work is not trying to convince anyone. She’s selecting. If a coach offering transformational coaching will take on anyone who will pay, that’s a red flag. Because selectivity isn’t arrogance, it’s integrity. And one more thing that’s worth talking about. Transformational coaching does not scale. It requires time, attention, and personalization that a group program with minimal direct access can’t provide.
That coaching program that I paid for said it was going to be transformational, but it wasn’t. It can’t be. Unless I paid her double or triple what I was paying for this program, I wasn’t going to get one-on-one access to her. And that’s where transformation would happen. If a coach is promising transformation inside a scaled group program with hundreds of people and a monthly Q&A call, the marketing doesn’t match the delivery. So know what you’re buying.
It’s a right fit for you when you’ve done the technical work. You have a foundational business, and you’ve hit some version of success, but something still feels off. When you’re hitting that same ceiling no matter what strategy you try. When you can’t get over that business plateau. When the problem you keep bringing to coaches really isn’t a business problem. It’s a you problem. And on some level, you already know that. So it’s a wrong fit if you want results, not process. Transformational coaching with someone who isn’t ready is expensive. And it’s frustrating for everyone. So don’t do it if you’re not ready for it.
15:04 – Questions to ask before you invest
Lori: So here are some questions you should ask yourself before you put a deposit down or say yes on a sales call. What specific problem does this solve? And is that actually my problem right now? Not six months from now, not six months ago, or eventually, but today. What type of coaching is this? And does it match what I need? Look at the language. Look at the structure. Look at the promise of the coaching program. What does success actually look like? Can they tell me specifically? If it’s, “You’ll feel more confident,” that’s vague. “You’ll have a validated offer.” “Your first 10 clients.” That’s specific, so know the difference.
Who has this worked for, and are they me? They’re at the same stage, the same challenge, the same starting point. Testimonials from three people three levels ahead of you are not proof that this will work for you. And that was a lesson that I could have learned when I spent thousands of dollars, because all of the testimonials were other big names that had taken the program. That wasn’t me. I didn’t need that.
Here’s another question. Is the container built to deliver what’s being promised? The structure should support the promise. If it doesn’t, ask why before you put money down. And the most important question: What type have I been investing in, and is there a pattern to why it hasn’t worked? If you’ve bought three technical programs and implemented none of them, buying a fourth is not the answer. The pattern in your past investments is the most honest signal about what you actually need.
Look at the program sitting in your account that you never finished. The course with 17 modules left. The group program you stopped showing up halfway through. The membership you’re still paying for, but you haven’t logged into in months. There’s so much guilt built around incomplete programs. I see it constantly. Business owners are beating themselves up, convinced they’re lazy, undisciplined, not committed enough. But here’s what actually is happening most of the time. You don’t need to watch 12 more modules on how to post Instagram. You needed someone to look at your business and say the problem isn’t your posting schedule. The problem is you built an offer you don’t want to sell. You need to redesign and realign, not post more consistently about something that doesn’t fit.
17:45 – Action step: identify what you actually need now
Lori: So here’s what I want you to do right now. This is your action step. Think about the last coaching investment that you made. Run through the four different types. What type was it actually? And based on the language, the deliverables, the promise, was that the type you actually needed at that point? Think about where you are right now, not where you want to be, where you actually are. What is the real problem in front of you today? Is it that you know what to do, but you aren’t doing it? Is it that you keep doing it, but something underneath keeps pulling you back? Or is it that you’re just in the middle of something hard and you need to stabilize first? Answering that honestly is worth more than any program you could buy this week. So that’s your action step.
The right coaching at the right time changes everything. The wrong type, no matter how brilliant the coach, will always leave you wondering what went wrong. And it will always feel like your fault. It isn’t. Knowing what you need, asking the hard questions. And if you’re a coach, say what you deliver, the right clients will find you.
18:55 – Hot seat sessions and closing
Lori: And if you’re sitting with this and realizing there’s a gap, that’s exactly the conversation I have every month in my hot seat coaching sessions. Go to mycoachlori.com. The link is in the show notes. And let’s figure out exactly what type of support is right for where you are. And remember, it’s never too late to build the business of your dreams. We’ll see you next time.
Thank you for joining me on the Midlife Business Academy. If today’s episode made you think, or made you feel, or made you feel seen, share it with a fellow business owner who could use it too. When you’re ready for more support, you’ll find the link to book your Profitable Path blueprint in the show notes. I’ll be back next week with more insight and strategy to help you build a business that truly fits your life and one of your dreams. We’ll see you next time on the Midlife Business Academy.