We’ve automated our marketing, streamlined our follow-ups, and gotten really good at turning people into leads. But somewhere along the way, have we forgotten that we’re dealing with actual human beings?
Technology has made running a business more efficient, but efficiency doesn’t automatically build relationships. And treating every conversation like a potential transaction isn’t exactly a winning long-term business strategy.
Inspired by a message shared at her mother’s memorial service, Lori explores a simple framework for bringing genuine human connection back into business. Through a personal story about her son, some uncomfortable truths about marketing, and a fresh look at how we use AI and automation, she challenges business owners to rethink what it means to build relationships that actually matter.
Because sometimes the smartest business strategy is to stop trying to turn every interaction into a business opportunity.
What You’ll Learn
- Why treating every conversation as a potential sale can undermine genuine business relationships
- How listening, paying attention, and caring about people can change the way you work with clients
- How to use AI and automation without losing the personal connections that make your business valuable
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Resources:
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If you’re ready to rethink how you run your business so it better reflects your values, priorities, and the life you want, schedule a conversation with Lori at talkwithlori.com.
Let’s build a business that works for you and the people you serve.
Transcript
Have We Forgotten the People?
We’ve automated our emails, scheduled our social media, and built systems to follow up with people without ever picking up the phone. We’re more connected than ever. So why does business sometimes feel less personal? Have we gotten so focused on efficiency that we’ve forgotten the people we’re doing business with?
We’ve gotten pretty good at turning people into leads, prospects, and conversions. And as a marketing strategist, I totally get it. But are we building relationships, or just getting better at managing transactions?
Welcome to the Midlife Business Academy
I’m Lori Lyons, and welcome to the Midlife Business Academy. If you’ve ever felt like your business is running your life instead of supporting it, you’re in the right place. Around here, I believe a dream business isn’t measured by its size. It’s measured by the freedom and life it makes possible.
Pastor Tim’s Lollipops Principle
I’ve spent years teaching marketing strategies, and I believe in good systems. But recently I heard something that made me think about what can get lost when we get so focused on efficiency. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that my mom had passed, and at her service, one of the pastors, Pastor Tim Samples, shared a principle about caring for people. He called it lollipops. And I want to give Pastor Tim full credit. This is his framework, not mine.
His message was spiritual, but you can’t turn it off. My business and marketing brain immediately saw how it could apply to business. And I realized recently that my son had lived out this whole thing without even knowing it.
My Son and the Woman on the Sidewalk
My son is a realtor, and he’s working to grow his business. Recently he showed a property at a townhome community, and if you think about it, they all look alike. He noticed an elderly woman outside on the sidewalk, and she seemed a little lost. So he asked her if she was okay, and she said she was just looking for her car. So he went back inside and showed the home to the client. But when he came back out, she was still there, and this time he realized that she was confused. She couldn’t tell him who she was or where she lived. So he called the non-emergency police number and waited with her until the police arrived.
A neighbor saw what was happening and came outside. He didn’t know who the woman was, but he told my son that he was so impressed with how he stayed to make sure this woman was safe and okay. They got to talking, and the neighbor asked why he was there, what brought him to the community. My son said he was a realtor and he was showing one of the townhomes. The neighbor told him that he and his wife were planning to sell their home soon. He asked for my son’s business card and said they’d be in touch.
Bluebirds, Not a Strategy
Now, that’s a cool outcome, but that’s not the point of the story. My son didn’t stop because he thought someone might be watching. He didn’t stop because he was trying to make an impression or find a new client. He was worried about this woman. And he told me he kept thinking about his grandmother, my mother, who recently passed. If she had been confused and alone, he would have wanted somebody to stay with her. That’s why he did it.
The business opportunity was unexpected. I call them bluebirds, the little bluebirds of happiness that come flying down when we least expect it. So the possible client was a bluebird for him. And if we turn this lesson into how being nice gets you more clients, we’ve missed the whole point entirely. Because sometimes doing the right thing leads to business, and sometimes it doesn’t. It’s just still the right thing to do.
L Is for Love
So it brings me back to Pastor Tim’s Lollipops Principle. LO is for love. LI is for listen. POP is for point of prayer. And S is for share. So how did I turn that into a business lesson? Let’s look at what these four ideas mean for our business.
The first is love. Now, I’m not suggesting you have to invite every client for Thanksgiving dinner. In business, I’m talking about genuinely caring about the people you work with. And there’s a difference between wanting somebody to hire you and wanting what’s best for them. Sometimes they’re the same thing. You have the expertise they need, and working together makes sense. But what if it doesn’t? What if they aren’t ready for you? Or what if they’re asking about a problem that you can’t solve? Can you tell them that, even if you could use the business?
We all need to earn money. That’s what pays our mortgage. That’s what keeps us going. That’s why we have businesses. But can we be profitable without treating every conversation as an opportunity to get something from someone? I know people like this, and it drives me absolutely crazy. I kind of walk the other way, or I’m fake nice to them when I see them, because I don’t want to engage. I want somebody who’s going to care about me, and not just what I can bring to them.
L-I: Listen
And if we genuinely care, then the next thing we have to do is listen. Not just stay quiet until it’s our turn to talk, but actually listen.
Those of us who’ve been in business for a long time can be especially guilty of skipping this part. We recognize the patterns. We know what they’re going to say. We know what our answer is probably going to be, because 90% of the time we’re basically solving the same problems over and over again. It’s just that the person on the other side is different. So if somebody starts describing the problem, and 30 seconds later we’ve already diagnosed it, because we know what the problem is and we know what the solution is, they haven’t been heard.
I know my marketing brain does this. I’m a fixer. You need better messaging. You need to rethink your offers. You need to fix the website, blah, blah, blah. But what if I haven’t heard the whole story? What if I need to quiet my brain and listen to what they’re saying? Because sometimes we can be surprised. What if they’re asking how to get more clients when what they really want is to work less? What if they’re trying to grow a business they no longer enjoy? Those aren’t necessarily marketing problems.
That’s why I ask potential clients what they want their business to do for them, not just what they want to accomplish. I could give someone an excellent marketing strategy that’s wrong for the life that they want. Sometimes the most useful thing we can ask is one more question, and then actually listen to the answer.
P-O-P: Point of Prayer
And that brings us back to Pastor Tim’s point of prayer. Now, I’m going to keep the original phrase because it matters to the source of the idea. In his message, it was about recognizing where someone needed prayer. In a business context, I think of it as noticing what’s going on in another person’s life.
Maybe a client is caring for a parent. That happens a lot at our midlife age. Maybe they’re celebrating a new grandchild. Maybe something difficult is happening at home, or they’re distracted, or they’re slower to respond than usual. We don’t know everything people are carrying, and we certainly don’t have to become everybody’s therapist. But we can pay attention. Remember what they told us. Ask how the big event went. Acknowledge the difficult thing without trying to fix it. My problem, I know, I’m a fixer. I get it. People don’t stop being people when they become clients.
S Is for Share
And sometimes when we pay attention, we realize we have something to share. That’s the S in lollipops. Maybe it’s an introduction, maybe it’s a resource, a piece of experience, or sometimes it’s just a few supportive words. Maybe it’s simply your time.
And here’s where I want to draw the line. Not everything we share has to be content marketing. I know, I’m a marketing strategist saying that out loud. Because sometimes you can make the introduction without asking for a referral. Send the resource without adding an offer. Encourage someone without turning it into a sales conversation. Just be a decent human being. Imagine that. The horror.
Technology and Being Human
Anyway, I can hear the objection. Isn’t technology supposed to make all of this easier?
I had a conversation this morning. We just had our 50th reunion, and there were ten of us on the committee, and we had a text going this morning because one of our class members didn’t hear about the reunion. When I tell you we’ve been talking about this for a year and a half, everywhere we could, and she didn’t hear about it. And there was a response I created for somebody’s email, and I used ChatGPT to do it. I told it exactly what I wanted it to say and how I wanted it to say it, but to put it in an organized way that was nice and pleasant. I didn’t want us to take the responsibility for not finding her. Hello. She knew it was her 50th. I wanted her to feel like, oh, maybe I could have reached out to somebody, but I wanted to be very nice about it.
So I had ChatGPT write it for me, and somebody came back and said, oh, that must be AI. Yeah, it was AI. I can’t write it that fast. But here’s what I told it and here’s what it did. It made a message back to someone that was nice but made the point and said, we’re really sorry you missed it. We’ll keep you informed for next time and make sure you register so we get your information. So we weren’t taking blame or responsibility for her not knowing about it. We just said, here’s how we’re going to work it next time. So technology helped with that.
And you know, I’m a big believer in AI and automation. So I’m not asking you to throw away your CRM, and I’m not asking you to go back to doing things manually, because heaven forbid, none of us will do it. A CRM can remind you to follow up. An automated email can deliver useful information and take the repetitive work off your plate. But a reminder can’t care about somebody for you.
So here’s the question. Are we using technology to build better relationships, or to avoid having them? If AI saves you five hours, do you use any of that time for a meaningful conversation? I know I’m really guilty about this. Or do you fill all five hours with more tasks? Me? I tend to fill it with more things. So my goal over the next few months is to make a real focus of reaching out to the people I care about and just having a conversation. Because technology should make it easier for us to be human, not become a substitute for being human.
Caring Without Giving Up Boundaries
And there’s one more distinction I want to make before anybody starts thinking that they need to be available to everybody all the time. Caring about people doesn’t mean not having boundaries. It doesn’t mean taking every client, saying yes to every request, or solving every problem somebody brings to you. That’s just not humanly possible.
I told you I’ve been more selective about who I work with. I can care about someone and still know we’re not a good fit. I can listen without taking responsibility for their entire business. In fact, the boundary gave me more energy to work and be present for the people I choose to work with.
What Do People Experience When They Work With You?
We’ve talked a lot on this podcast about what we want our business to give us: freedom, flexibility, financial security, time for people and the things we love. But Pastor Tim’s message made me think about the other side of that equation. What do we want people to experience when they do business with us? Do they feel heard? Do they feel respected? Do they feel like we care whether our work is right for them or not? Because a dream business should fit our lives, but it should also be a business we’re proud to put into the world.
This Week’s Action
So here’s your action step this week. I want you to have a conversation with someone in your business without an agenda. Make it a client, a colleague, someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Ask how they’re doing. Listen, and remember something that matters to them. Don’t turn it into a sales opportunity. Maybe there’s something you can share. Maybe you just enjoy talking. Either way, that’s plenty, and that’s enough.
Thank You, Pastor Tim, and Next Steps
So I want to thank Pastor Tim Samples again for the Lollipops Principle. Love, listen, point of prayer, and share. He shared it as a way of caring for people, and he brought my mom into it. And I think it’s a reminder we need in business too. We can have great systems, sophisticated marketing, and all the latest technology, but business is still about people.
So if you’re rethinking the way you want to run your business, I’d love to have a conversation. Schedule a time at talkwithlori.com.
So until next time, I’m Lori Lyons. And remember, it’s never too late to build a business of your dreams. We’ll see you next week.